Meet Torque

Morena! Happy Saturday - Megan here. Something entertaining for this week - Carl is very excited about this whole thing. (And I should say, I missed him ever so.) I am currently living the gym girl cliche of having hamstrings and glutes so sore I whimpered sitting down to pee today - 12 weeks off is no joke. Anyway, onwards!

You asked for it, so we’re delivering. And by “asked for it,” I mean I suggested it, and a bunch of you said, “lol, go on.”

“Lol, go on then” is a pretty surefire way to get me to do anything, to be honest. I’ve never backed down from a direct challenge in my life. So here we are: The Superhero Programme: testing week. 

My original idea for this challenge was finding some articles along the lines of “Sydney Sweeney reveals 'crazy' regime for gaining 14kg to play legendary boxer” and follow the routine. The point I wanted to make is: those articles are ridiculous. The one I am referencing there, for example, gives no actual information about what Sweeney did - it just repeatedly talks about how much weight she gained. (Deliberate weight gain being the single most astonishing thing a woman can do, obviously.)(Casey has a great post on what that weight is likely to be.)

Here’s one for Alan Ritchson. And a video about Chris Hemsworth:

Often, I look at these articles, and think to myself “there’s not a chance in hell that that’s real.” The Hemsworth article, for example, says he works out three times a week. That doesn’t seem enough to me (Carl, what do you reckon?). They often have super dumb exercises, and no mention of *cough* supplements *cough* someone might take. 

I like this from Rob McElhenney:

“All you need to do is lift weights six days a week, stop drinking alcohol, don’t eat anything after 7pm, don’t eat any carbs or sugar at all, in fact just don’t eat anything you like, get the personal trainer from Magic Mike, sleep nine hours a night, run three miles a day, and have a studio pay for the whole thing over a six to seven month span. I don’t know why everyone’s not doing this.”  

So we’re going to put it to the test. But unlike Men’s bloody Health, Carl - being an evidence-based kinda guy - actually has a plan. And we need to start from somewhere. 

Like what the back of my hair looks like, I feel like my actual fitness level is none of my business. I don’t want to know what my VO2 max is. Mostly because I suspect it is terrible, and if I know, I am going to have to do something about it. 

I feel like it is pretty well established that cardio and I will never be friends. I am strong like bitch who fights bears in the forest, not fast like gazelle with long eyelashes. I get enough cardio from heavy squats, I don’t need to run or some such torture. 

But for a while now I have been aware that getting puffed walking up a couple of flights of stairs is maybe not a great sign from a health and longevity point of view. So when Carl suggested we test my fitness as part of this whole thing, I reluctantly agreed. 

We’ve tested - or will test - a bunch of different metrics about my strength and fitness. I’ve got an injured knee, and after 12 weeks off lifting, I’ve lost a fair bit of strength. I’m gonna let Carl share those results in a bit, even though that’s pretty terrifying.

Now that we know where we’re starting from, I am gonna work out, sleep great, get my steps in, eat well, not drink (much) alcohol, take my creatine, and generally do as much as we can to train like a superhero for a couple of months. We will retest all those metrics - including how my knee is holding up - some time in January.

Mostly, I want to know what happens when someone like me - who’s not built for Hollywood montages - actually trains like the movies (or the people who claim to be celebrity trainers on YouTube) say you should.

My besties and I workshopped a superhero name: Torque. So, for the challenge, we will be focussing on two things: power, and endurance. How much force can I apply, and for how long? Also, can I do it while, ahem, talking lots?

So yep, meet Torque. Ready to yap, probably sparkle, and also maybe lift a car off something if she needs to. Alright Carl, tell the class. How unfit am I? Where are we starting from? 

Carl here - Hi Megan, so good to have you back! This is a super unique opportunity where you are available to pull many levers to potentially maximise your results like a celebrity preparing for a movie, minus the personal chef (or does Adam [Megan’s boyfriend] count?), and the not to be mentioned ‘extra supplements’ that celebrities *allegedly* take. On that note, to quickly answer the training frequency question, that will depend on the total volume within that session. If it is 10/10 hard and prolonged then it is probably enough! 

Now, onto Torque testing! What excited me when I was setting up the testing was during my preparation spiel, I mentioned that it may be a bit scary, and Megan quickly replied, “I’m not scared of anything in the gym anymore”. Let's take a moment to acknowledge how cool this is! To those of you who are reading, it's super normal to feel a little scared or anxious about your training (I certainly do), but the goal is to get to this point, at least sometimes! This is a super vulnerable thing to share, Megan really is a superhero!

As we were discussing Torque’s testing, I was thinking about how you heroes in a game or collector's card are presented, with the and the bar ratings. No one is ever full bars on everything, but has some strengths and weaknesses, just like in real life. So I thought we could create these fitness components with standardised correlating tests:

Max strength: Squat, Deadlift and Bench Press total

This was selected because it's familiar, safe and a good way to predict maximal strength through the 3 patterns. Maximal strength is referring to the ability to move as much weight as possible for 0-6 reps generally. We will be doing 5 rep max testing and use a calculation to work out 1RM, as it's not a great idea to max test after 7 weeks off and a niggly knee (will see how the squat goes…).

Strength endurance: 60s Modified Push up test

Strength endurance is different, it refers to the ability to move light weights or even your bodyweight (referred to as relative strength) for higher reps. The 60s maximum push up test is a standardised way of assessing this, so we can find where Megan fits.

Aerobic fitness: Astrand submaximal v02 max test

This is a great standardised sub maximal Vo2 max test. Meaning that we don't have to absolutely exhaust Megan in order to gain her fitness level. It is performed on a bike at a sub maximal resistance and steady pace. The heart rate is recorded and compared to the intensity (resistance and pace), to determine the Vo2 max (a measure of cardio fitness). I picked this one as Megan has a niggly knee and is not currently conditioned at the high heart rates, so for both safety and effectiveness.

Mobility: Sit to Rise Test

This is a cool test, and as far as I’m aware is one of the only mobility tests that is correlated with morbidity! Meaning the better you do, generally the longer you live. It is important to note that it is correlative though, so assume that people that are more active in general will do better at this test. In saying that, Megan mentioned that she has improved at this because she now has more body awareness as a result of consistent exercise! 

Power: Seated Med ball Push Press & CM Jump

Power refers to the ability to generate force rapidly. This is different to max strength and it requires speed. In saying that, max strength training can have a positive impact on power as you are required to recruit your fast twitch muscle fibres. I have selected 2 tests here, one for upper and one for the lower body.

Proprioception & stability: Single leg eyes close stork stand

This one I put in the testing template just to bring awareness to the importance of stability and proprioception (the body’s awareness in space) as an independent fitness component. Generally the better you do proprioceptively the less likely you are to injure yourself, in particular ankles, knees and lower back. 

Special Ability - Torque Talk

The ability to talk during max effort (AKA, Megan’s actual superpower).

So how does Megan stack up?

So from what is tested, you'd have to say, Torque is pretty well rounded! This is particularly impressive given the long holiday! In saying that, let's see if we can get some into the elite ranges! 

Every superhero has their Kryptonite - It seems as if proprioception and balance is currently Torque's kryptonite along with her niggly knee (although we have had an interesting discovery that we will discuss in another post). 

On top of these results we noticed some interesting things. For the lower body power test, I used a Counter Movement Jump. I found a big weight shift dominance, where landing force was over 30% harder on the right hand side. This is probably a protective mechanism due to her knee niggle, but worth noting as these compensations can create patterns over time.

So that’s the lay of the land. Torque is officially in action with her eyes set on glory (or at least symmetry). From here, we’ll take everything we’ve learned from testing and build her a plan designed to amplify her superpowers and tackle her Kryptonite head-on. Think of it as leveling up before the big boss fight!

Over the next few weeks, we’ll see what happens when someone with time, grit, and an inconvenient fondness for talking mid-set trains like a superhero. Can you really get stronger, fitter, and more powerful, without the Hollywood smoke and mirrors? Stay tuned. Torque’s origin story has just begun.

Cool shit we saw this week

"These days, I lift weights not so much to see what I can do, but more to access the feelings I have when I’m doing it: presence, confidence, focus, peacefulness. Identifying that switch — the why of lifting weights — feels like it’s own kind-of strengthening." (Also, this line "These days I find more ease, safety and joy in living a body that I’m not constantly fighting" made me (Megan) tear up.)

Another reason to lift weights: Lifting weights just two or three times a week can significantly change the trillions of bacteria living in your gut, and it might happen in as little as eight weeks. (Actual study here)

Honestly, put down the weighted vest, and pick up a barbell, I beg you.

Stretching and rolling your shoulders can cause a quick drop in blood pressure - without an expected increase in heart rate - which may trigger a parasympathetic reflex and underlie the pleasant, calming sensation. 

We talked about proprioception above, I found this on interoception fascinating.

Genuine question, albeit a hilarious one given everything in this week's newsletter, but why does everything have to be a "method" or a gamified target. Can't we just move our bodies and get stronger?

"My advice to others is to listen to your body, take time off when you need to and, most importantly, just enjoy the journey. The day-to-day training is what I love the most." What an icon.