Back is the wrong kind of set

When I wrote about pain last week, I wasn’t expecting it to be literal quite so quickly. We’re not even at the end of week one of Torque’s training and we’ve had our very first setback.

A while ago, when Carl and I were doing a boxing session, he described me as someone who understood where her body was, and how to make it do things. I was kind of surprised by this, as someone who’s spent most of her life calling herself unco.

But to that list, I think I have to add two footnotes:

1. The proprioception score
2. The fact that I have now broken my toe twice, kicking the exact same leg of the exact same couch, which was in the exact same place.

(Full disclosure, I don’t think it’s actually broken — but last time, I took myself to A&E and the doctor was basically like, “well, we can x-ray it, but even if we find something, we can’t really do anything about it.” Carl, on seeing a picture, said: “You may have to put that in the acute injury pain category.”)

So, that’s frustrating. It’ll probably be a couple of weeks before I am fully back on my feet (pun absolutely intended), and it feels like several steps backwards.

I don’t think anyone likes being injured, but I wonder if I’m a little bit of a drama queen about it. Because I spent the weekend beating myself up. “God, you’re so dumb. How could you do this again, especially now.” And then I spent a couple of days feeling very sorry for myself, not helped by the voice in my head saying: “What if you never get the motivation back?”

I’m one of those people who tried the gym a number of times before it stuck. Step classes, an exercise bike while a personal trainer talked at me about weight loss, aquarobics. None of them lasted. So that voice has some rhetorical heft.

I wonder if part of my reaction is about what strength represents for me now. This whole project — lifting heavier things, building power, moving like someone who trusts her own body — feels like a story I am writing about who I am becoming. And when something interrupts that, even briefly, it feels like the story is in danger of unravelling.

But here’s the thing: superhero origin stories always have a moment where the protagonist is at their lowest.

And there’s newer evidence that the voice is wrong. I’ve been in the gym consistently for five years now. In that time I’ve had covid twice, injured myself a handful of times, gone overseas for long stretches, and had especially stressful times at work. And yet, every time, I’ve managed to get back up. I’ve learned to rest, to recover, to modify, and (frankly shockingly) to trust Carl’s advice.

Strength isn’t something that lives only in the moments where everything is going well. It’s not just squatting 100kg. It’s built in the moments when it feels too hard to carry on. Maybe this isn’t a story I am writing about who I am becoming — it’s recognising who I already am.

So. Upper body it is for the next little while, and the step count can dip for a bit. (And I can skip the plyos!) I will complain loudly and theatrically (because I am pretty dramatic), and then I’ll keep going. Not back to square one. Just forward, maybe a little left of where I thought.

OK, Carl — you’re up. How do you help clients manage injury, and what does this mean for Torque? And how much of this is a case of “those who can, do, and those who can’t, keep lifting with an injured shoulder for weeks?”

Carl here — Thanks Megan. I felt as if that last sentence was pointed… I am currently nursing a shoulder issue acquired through my training and Jiu Jitsu tournament LOL, and despite my understanding of the theory, I often use myself as a human experiment and test the boundaries of what I know best.

Firstly, always seek professional help. A good physiotherapist will help you understand the injury, what pain actually is, and guide the rehabilitation process. I’ve had the opportunity to work alongside sports doctors and physiotherapists for years and learn some cool technical principles and techniques (that are within my scope), but more importantly, the power of an integrated team. This kind of support is not only vital for physical recovery but also for confidence and reassurance, knowing you’re not doing it alone. It’s a big part of the psychology of pain: connection and clarity help dial down the threat response that often amplifies discomfort.

In regards to acute injury, like Megan's, yes, it sucks, and it will change the current plan. But it’s also part of the journey when you live an active life. Having niggles is a sign that you’re testing boundaries in the name of progress. When things like this happen, firstly, I let the physio guide what to avoid, and I do my best to work around the issue and progress through the stages of overload safely. These acute issues also provide opportunities to work on other areas or components of fitness. For example, my shoulder issue has given me time to focus more on my legs, and with a marathon on the horizon, that’s not a bad thing!

From a mindset perspective, it’s completely normal to feel frustrated or even a bit lost when an injury interrupts momentum. That emotional response is part of recovery, your brain’s way of recalibrating its sense of safety and control. The key is to keep some movement going, even in modified ways. Each time you move safely within your limits, you’re teaching your brain that your body is still capable, adaptable, and trustworthy. That’s a huge part of long-term progress.

It’s worth remembering that these things pass, and you’ll re-attain your gains faster than you earned them the first time. Strength and fitness don’t vanish overnight. Consistent, confident movement helps maintain your identity as an active person, as the story Megan talked about, rather than putting it on pause.

Again, it’s important to understand what pain actually is: information, not damage. Or as leading pain expert and professor of clinical neuroscience, Dr Lorimer Moseley says, “Pain is not a measure of damage; it’s a measure of protection.” Pain is a whole-system experience, biological, psychological, and social. The more we understand that, and the more supported we feel through it, the faster confidence returns.

Keeping this in mind, when it comes to training with a niggle. I was introduced to the traffic light system through a back pain specialist and physiotherapist friend of mine, Bart De Vries (also the creator of Limber, 'the world’s healthiest desk'!).

Here’s how it works (important to note that I'm paraphrasing Bart here, and he is not to be held accountable for my interpretation!):

🟢 Green Light – Comfortable or Mild Discomfort

Pain 0–3/10Normal, expected, or even helpful discomfort

Generally safe to continue and progress

🟡 Yellow Light – Still good, but monitor and adjust if necessary

Pain 4–5/10 (sometimes up to 6 if it settles quickly).

Indicates the system is being challenged but not harmed

Okay to continue, as long as:

• Pain doesn’t worsen during the session

• Pain settles within 24 hours

• Function isn’t declining

Best practice: make small load or range adjustments if needed — movement is still beneficial

🔴 Red Light – Stop or Regress

Pain > 6/10 or sharp, worsening, or lingering

Suggests overload or tissue irritation

Modify or stop the exercise until symptoms ease.

So even when pain shows up, it’s not a full stop, it’s a conversation (with your physio). Learning to interpret that feedback builds both physical and psychological resilience,

In terms of Torque, there is some obvious damage there! So we have to wait for the bone/tissue to heal before we load up that foot! So at the moment, plyos are gone, loaded flexion of the joint is gone, but we will play with some lower limb work that avoids directly loading or irritating that joint. There are many fun things we can do, and we may be able to delegate more energy towards some peripheral leg/hip strengthening and mobility. And of course, we can work on that upper body power as well as fitness (there are many ways of working on fitness without loading up the forefoot).

So for Torque, it's onwards and upwards! We don't need to change the goals, just the path travelled to get there.

Cool Shit We Saw This Week

• I (Megan) like this one, particularly right now: Strength training could be good for your career
• “Ageing doesn’t mean that you can’t do what you did previously, but you probably can’t do as much in the same time period.”
• Does fasting dull your mental edge? My anecdotal evidence says "100% absolutely it does."
• Ilona remains an absolute queen
• Actually, so is Megan (A different Megan)
• I actually feel bad that I haven't shared this before, but around here, we are all about celebrating strong women. If you haven't already seen it, go preorder your Wahine Toa Firefighter Calendar. Megan's house may have already seen it, and you're 100% gonna enjoy it.
• Weight training appears to improve blood sugar regulation more effectively than aerobic exercise like running, because contracting muscles during resistance work help clear glucose from the bloodstream more directly and efficiently.
• A study of ~62 young adults found that an 8-week moderate intensity resistance training program improved mood and depressive symptoms — showing that lifting weights (not just cardio) has meaningful mental health benefits.
• Strength is not just “look toned” [ugh]; it’s a brain-preservation strategy. When we train muscle, we’re training blood flow, metabolic flexibility, and the nervous system pathways that help memory, focus, and emotional regulation.
• "Weightlifting funnels all of this energy that I have. It allows me to hyper focus and meditate in an active way...You've got to be very present. It's given me discipline and the ability to be in the moment."